So an interesting question was posed to me by one of my blog followers the other day. When I tell people they should train for health and strength/performance rather then aesthetics the point was brought up that self esteem is part of your health and a person’s self esteem can be greatly effected by the way they look.

(I train for strength and I don’t have a problem joking around without a shirt)

Indeed it can. However when I say that you should focus on one area it doesn’t mean ignoring the other. You can achieve one by optimizing the other.

Let me explain a little bit. I see people constantly trying to focus on what they believe are their problem areas. I get people asking me about ab exercises and all that crap but what they should be focusing on is improving their performance and by eating healthy. When you do that the looks will come all by themselves and it will come without you constantly worrying if you look fat or too small or whatever.

Think about why certain things are important to you. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you are training to look good to them then you are worrying about how you are perceived by others. Yes I know human beings are a social species and what people think does matter no matter how much you think it doesn’t but you can minimize that effect. Besides the opinion that others have doesn’t always make sense. Think about how you would feel if you were to train for the better part of a year in the hopes of seeing an ex at a high school reunion only that ex never shows up. Would kind of suck wouldn’t it?

On the other hand if you are training to make yourself better IN YOUR OWN EYES do you think you may end up being proud of yourself? Think about how that would effect your self esteem. Once you have accomplished something that you couldn’t do before nobody and I mean NOBODY can take that away from you.

Another thing about training for aesthetics is that a lot of people are mistaken about what they think is the “best look” for them. According to the makers of the Adonis Effect most men assume they need to gain 30 more pounds of muscle then they need to be attractive to women. They get tricked into believing this when they see magazines with steroid infested bodybuilders posing with lovely ladies hanging off of them (it’s an effort to sell the supplements that sponsor the magazines).

Ladies are also under false assumptions and are preyed on in an entirely different manner. Most women think they need to be lighter then they are (to the point of being unhealthy). Let me show you an example.
I am not going to claim to be representative of all guys but being that skinny is definitely not my thing. Maybe it’s a fear I have of sneezing and the poor girl disappearing. What somebody has to gain by making women anorexic? Hell if I know. And that fear that women have of strength training in fear of looking like men? Don’t get me started. Ladies that crap is a myth designed to sell you pieces of crap like the shake weight. Pay no attention. As a matter of fact I think it should be required reading for ALL women to take a look at Venus Index. Stop chasing the scale weight and the constant need to be smaller and get stronger and healthier and you will be beyond sexy.

Now I am getting married in about a week and a half. The girl I am marrying drives me crazy with the way she walks. I hate to see her leave but I love to watch her go. She thinks she is too fat <.>rolls eyes. Is she a tooth pick? No and I sure as hell don’t want her to be either. She is just right. If anything I’d like it if she were a bit stronger/toned so she wouldn’t interrupt me doing my thing so that I have to open that damn pickle jar for her. At the end of the day it is my opinion which isn’t as important to her as her own. Power to her.

Now also think about what the look of fitness is that makes it look appealing to the opposite sex (or same sex, whatever I’m not here to judge). The look is basically a representation of genetic fitness. In an evolutionary sense we are basically here to mate and procreate. It dominates a large part of our psyche. Women generally seek out men that look fit and strong so that we may do things like build a sturdy shelter and punch a saber tooth tiger in the nose.

They also want to be able to bear offspring that would have a chance at making it. Men would seek out women that would best be able to bear healthy offspring (our offspring) hence the reasoning for a hip to waist ratio of .7 with toned glutes and toned abs. That was supposed to be a representation of their health and fitness since it is known that belly fat is no good for you. True looks aren’t always representative of good health and fitness but back then you had to go by looks since it was the quickest way to judge people. Remember survival of the fittest.

Now if you train to get stronger and more fit, eat healthy (think caveman) the looks of strength, fitness and health will come with it by itself. I don’t want you to not care about the way you look and not to ignore it, just don’t make it the focus of your training, especially if it is self esteem you lack.

Train to make yourself better and you will feel pretty damn good, I promise.

---

I am a fitness professional residing in Hopatcong, NJ, who is dedicated to making myself and my clients as strong as (or stronger than) they look and to look beyond sexy. I help my clients drop body fat quickly, gain strength quickly and I use kettlebells as my main tool and the RKC system as my main methodology. I am a personal trainer with small group personal training and fitness bootcamps in Morris and Sussex County NJ. This fitness blog is where I have become known as a straight shooter with a unique writing style and I have been known to force companies to take videos down where they teach unsafe and ineffective technique with just a couple written words. It has become an inside joke started by a guy that bends steel bars into bonsai tree shaped decorations with his hands, that I don’t wear shirts but that is mainly because I have built up my physique along the lines of a Greek statue and exhibit it proudly.

Related posts:

1. no excuses
2. This is something that pisses me off